Thursday, May 7, 2009

Newly Revised! Man in France Flies Through Air

Since I received so many negative reactions, I have updated this posting, making it a NEW IMPROVED POSTING
Yesterday, a man in Crement, France was seen flying through the air, "like a raisin flung off the end of a stick". Approximately 1,000 gregarious French people witnessed this unusual phenomenon and then stuck around for an exhaustive survey of their first-person observations. It was a Very Important event.

The man, Richard Mousse-Billet, said of the event that he felt "like he was going through a tube slide at an amusement park, but that there was no slide, no park and no amusement." He could not explain the event, which took him some 900 feet into the air at the top of an eliptical flight and then brought him back down on his feet, but said that "I have nearly made mud in my pants from this natural disaster, but thank God, did not."

One observer, Sylvie Bonmartin, said that upon seeing the man flying around, "she felt as though she was another person altogether, that no one could understand but her the way that she felt."
Sylvie continued, "I am sure that I am the only one who knows how I feel about this. No one else could possible ever understand the depth and strength of my feelings, not even God."
She was then asked what her feelings about this were, exactly. "Its hard for me to put these strong, valid feelings into the proper words so that you would understand them. Let me try."
She stood there, grimacing and wringing her hands for several minutes, then continued. "Nobody can understand how I feel about this and that is why I can't say what it is that I am feeling. If I were able to tell you, you still would not understand and even if you thought you did, you still wouldn't understand."
Survey taken at the flying man event: 1000 respondents.
% # Response.
05 1. I think that this is a new dawn
27 2. This was a trick.
01 3. No one can understand how I feel
89 4. Our invisibility has been compromised
10 5. This was a mass hallucination
5 6. I forget what I saw
33 7. The (flying man) is a corrupt government official
40 8. More testing is required
100 9. I'm not surprised by this
12 10. We could do something beside answer foolish questions
55 11. You have lied to me2 12. This lemonade is sub-standard
27 13. You should stop yourself and consider what an important person Iam
55 14. I haven't been paid for this, yet
10 15. May I speak with a supervisor?
14 16. This does not apply to me
1 17. This has gone far / not far enough
72 18. Everything looks blurry
12 19. Turn on the captions
18 20. This music sucks
59 21. Is this for someone's stupid blog?

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