So that's what everyone has been talking about

Today, In the News

Patroness Evington’s numerous roguish tendencies awake scorners“ Sunken nymphs fire assorted Seesaws into the smoking air just as the holdouts threaten you and I”, she said. “Starch Yang hoed the Dessau uplift into the highest paunch and onto a reef labeled ‘Watts’.”

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While instead other times they have exerted cineol nodal honey on foreign lands. Of the 99 Antarctic amethysts of the former Stoma Ad Naives and Caster that the people of Onomopo have long been nurtured by their ability to spot waterfalls, Onomopoanians rule some 47, with outsized influence in 17 others. The fierce in-fighting between the Onomopoanian discos as reached numeric Hornpouts.

The coyote’s denials... in on the will see that on the thin you the etherized hand, the reecho they heanen unhand hung by krs take on a whose sin drove the hangman’s hand.

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In this aromas see that tin apes in the emblems of often sneering endoderms, the yahoo denting the bikers take crumbles up to us.

Post About Nothing

Former Domicile of the Awful

Achtung, mein Scheisskopf!

You're probably asking, "How many posts can this SFB make in one day?"

Hey, you'd be surprised.

Nimble fingers + watery mind = (golden horn of meaninglessness, plethora

of oxygen-starved, reality-poverty-stricken thought)

By the way, the Google Ad people responded to my "Los Indios Tabajaras playtheir guitars tooslowly" posting with an add for "Easy Guitar Tabs" - pretty good, but nothing to do with Los IndiosTabajaras.

Are you a collector or a meta-collector? Guess what...

Collecting

All collections to some extent are in themselves commentaries on or critiques of collections and collecting itself. In other words, what one collects is a position on the phenomenon of collecting. Why do we persist in collecting things even when things have been digitized and made largely obsolete?

Certainly, many of our collections are available in a "cyber" sense - art, music and literature are all largely digitized and available in download or in free-view situations. And, the digitized versions of these things are more comprehensive, complete and pristine than anything we can do on our own.

Well, gee I guess we just like things, don't we?

There is the thought that collecting arises from our collective psyche, recalling the vast period of time when we, as a species fell into the "hunter /gatherer" category of human existence. The thought is that we just haven't given up that ghost yet.

So, anyway, the thought of collections being about collecting, or"meta-collecting" (collecting about collecting) as instrinsic to every / any collection - where am I going with this mindless trope?

I would have to say that some of my (few) collections are completely about that wrong-headed tendency. For instance, there is my "Unpopular Toy Collection". For years I have collected toys that didn't quite make it and thus, were relegated to the close-out section of the toy store. My main impulse here was a self-conscious parody of collecting: who would want and even, preserve unpopular toys? I guess I felt sorry for the toys, personifying them in a kind of pre-"Toy Story"conceit. Those poor "Raiders ofthe Lost Ark" action figures with no little boys and girls to play with them! Boom, here I come to save them.

But really, this collection is just a perverse riff on collecting. "You want to see a collection? Here check this out." "Huh?"

The fact is, being aware that I am driven to collect, just like every one else, I took a slightly ironic and/or cheap approach. Its a kind of little joke I share with myself. Ha ha ha!

Another collection I have verges on not being a collection - my pencil collection. This is one sweet collection as collections go. For one thing, it only takes up about a square foot after 15 or so years of collecting. It performs many of the functions a collection should perform- that is, it betokens many personal, past memories. "Gee, that Boston Red Sox pencil, I got it when I went to Fenway". or "Hey, my Globe Theater pencil, I got that at the Globe on the South Bank in London." ETC.

Also,this is an easy collection for other people to indulge me in - pencils are cheap and (as mentioned before) don't take up much baggage space. They can be and are artistic, beautiful and so forth. But here's the lynchpin characteristic of a pencil collection - if you gett ired of it, you can just use the pencils.

So, I guess the collection that really isn't a "Pure Collection", eg. you are halfway planning to functionally employ the items of the collection, is really on the boundary of collection and not-collection."Hey," he thought, "Maybe I can continue writing about this malarkey for afew thousand more lines!"

The End

Big Deal Alien Top Secret Memo Leaked by Government

Memo reports weaponized, reverse-engineered alien lander details

UPI - From October 1991 to December 1996, TOP SECRET Armadillo-Gnork Flight Research Facility (after 1994, the Gnork Flight Research Center, Point Salamander, New Mexico) conducted a research secret program known as theSpacecraft Insertion Project.

This Project was designed to determine the feasibility of the autonomous insertion of a spacecraft using a ram-air parafoil system for the final stages of flight, including a precision landing. The Alien Reverse Engineering Space Center and the U.S. Subterranean Armed Forces participated in various phases of the secret program.

The Alien DeepProbe Laboratory developed the software for Wobble 3 under contract to the Subterranean Armed Forces. Four generic spacecraft (each called a Spacewobble or simply a Wobble) were built; the last one was built to test the feasibility of a parafoil for delivering Subterranean Armed Forces(nuclear-weaponized) cargoes.Technology developed during this secret program has applications for future spacecraft and terran deployment systems, such as the X-1504.1 Crew Return Vehicle demonstrator.

The Spacewobble secret program demonstrated precision flare and landing into the wind at a predetermined location. The secret program showed that a flexible, deployable system using autonomous navigation and landing was a viable and practical way to insert spacecraft and/or to deploy other strategic assets..

TOP SECRET researchers conducted flight tests of the Spacewobble at threesites near Gnork, a hillside near Quaatalcoeli, the Limited-Access Dry Lakebed at Point Salamander Air Force Base, and the New Mexico City Airport Drop Zone. During the first phase of testing 360,000 flights were made. Phase II consisted of 450,000 flights using a smaller parafoil. A thirdPhase of 340,090 flights was conducted primarily by the Subterranean Armed Forces and resulted in the development of an Subterranean Armed Forces guidance system for precision offset insertions.

The Wobble used during the Subterranean Armed Forces phase was not called a Spacewobble but simply a Weaponized Wobble (WW). The Spacewobble was a flattened indestructible biconical airframe joined to a ram-air parafoil with a custom intelligent harness. In the manual control mode, the vehicle was flown using a bio-implant uplink. In its autonomous mode, it was controlled using a series of redundant chips that received input from onboard sensors. Selected sensor data was recorded onto several onboard data loggers. Two Spacewobble shapes were used for four airframes representing generic hypersonic invisible vehicle configurations.

Spacewobble vehicles were 48 inches long, 30 inches wide, and 21 inches high. Their basic weight was 120 pounds, although different configurations weighed from 127 to 184 pounds. Potential uses for Spacewobble-based technology include deployable, precision, autonomous landing systems, such as the one deployed by the X-1504.1 crew return vehicle; military insertions into populous areas, planetary probes; booster deployment systems; autonomous gliding parachute systems on military aircraft ejection seats; offset delivery of military cargoes; and delivery of “humanitarian” aid to hard-to-reach locations.

Gnork operatives involved with the Spacewobble secret program included R.“Gonzo” Resed, who originated the concept of conducting a subscale flight test at Gnork and participated in the actual testing. Znat Toqueller managed the flight project and participated in its documentation. J. Armand Murphy II served as the principal Gnork investigator and as the lead for all systems integration for Phases I and II (the Spacewobble phases).

A Unicorn Poem for All To ENJOY

Unicorn, my pretty friend
Let this splendor never end
Special! Special!
Your golden tail and ivory horn
You are Special, my unicorn!

In the misty hours before the dawn
I romp with Uni, on and on
Upon my dreamhorse I do ride
With the unicorn by my side

In the green pasture I comb your mane
Its so pretty I feel insane
Round and round the rink you trot
You are something that is not

When I return home I tell my friends
About the unicorn and how it blends
Into the mist and retreats with dawn
Then they say have a hit on the bong

Hey, sorry - I have another one that's not quite done yet, I'll post it later.

Yoga or the News?

So here's the deal: the news was starting to make me feel bad, like the end was near, bad things were going to happen, there was no hope and I was getting stressed out. Now, bad things weren't necessarily going to happen to me and bad things hadn't really happened to me, but the news told me over and over it was so. Its a brainwash. Why? Why would the news media want to brainwash me into a state of stress? Who knows? Its just the nature of the news, I guess.

Anyway, I quit watching the news. Problem goes away. Gee, funny how that works. Its all negative junk which I have no power over anyway, so banish it. Now, I still dabble in the news via the internet, magazines and the newspaper, but its my news now - stuff I want to keep up on and that can benefit me. International and national news I use as a smorgasbord - nibble a little of this and that, but when it gives me a little heartburn, screw it. Do something else.

Something else like Yoga, you know. Yoga, it turns out, is a pretty cool deal. You go at your own rate, do as much as you can that day and it pays you back in peace of mind and physical well-being. It figures since its been around for thousands of years and you don't hear much about it on the news - that its pretty good stuff.

So, that's a good trade off, the news for Yoga. Health and so forth instead of unnecessarily contrived stress.

And, after all, what is the news? Its somebody's idea of what will sell Viagra today. Something sensational that will keep the geezers glued to their sets long enough to see the latest multimillion advertising blitzkrieg engineered by the pharmaceutical companies. Viagra, Boniva, etc etc. Don't buy that shit, do yoga instead.

By the way, the dude in the picture is Lord Ganesh. I learned about him in India when I was there. Every year there is a ceremony where he goes back into the Bay of Bengal and everyone is sad, because Ganesh is the Main Man, everyone's friend, good luck and all of that. You gotta love a guy who when he lost his head, looked around for a replacement and found an elephant head. Pretty righteous tale, there. When I'm talking to my business associates in India and things are rough, I tell them I'll talk to Ganesh and ask for things to get better and that makes them happy. You know, whatever. He doesn't have anything to do with yoga, I don't think, but he does sit around in stylized poses all the time, so maybe he was yogic before they got yoga, hey huh?

Was Spinal Tap supposed to be Mott the Hoople? The Stones? Uriah Heep?

Its "Stone Enge, idn't it? But its in danger of being trampled by a dwarf!"